What I Wish My Newly-Diagnosed Self Knew

Sitting in the patient chair, hearing your doctor say “you have Inflammatory Bowel Disease” can be terrifying and change your life in a matter of seconds. These words come with both a massive feeling of relief and validation, knowing that your symptoms are not just in your head and that you will finally receive the help you deserve. But, along with this relief, comes terrifying thoughts, too many google searches, and the realization that you will have this diagnosis for the rest of your life. Feelings such as anxiety, fear, and loneliness follow with no sense of direction. When looking back at my newly diagnosed self, I wish I could hug her and tell her everything I know now.

It‘s not your fault 

The guilt that comes with a new diagnosis is unexplainable. My mind wandered, time and time again, over what I might have done to cause my diagnosis. Was it loving toaster strudels as a kid and eating a few too many? Was I too stressed at my internship? Was it previous medications that disrupted the microbiome in my gut? The truth is, you can let your mind wander for as long as it wants, but you are NOT the reason behind your illness and you are NOT at fault. Many people, including myself, strongly believe and are determined that everything has a purpose and that everything happens for a reason. Although some may argue this belief, obsessing over what may have caused your diagnosis and blaming yourself will do nothing but harm. Inflammatory bowel disease is not the result of a bad decision or bad karma, and something that is most important to understand is that you are not to blame. Once you come to peace with your diagnosis and become confident in the unknown, you will begin to heal in ways you never have before. 

The importance of your healthcare team 

As a young adult diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, I was scared, lonely and afraid. After years of fighting for a doctor to take me seriously, I felt unworthy of receiving proper treatment and advocating for myself to my healthcare team. With help from a handful of individuals, I slowly realized that I should be looked after by healthcare professionals that listen, support, and are trustworthy. Not only does this apply to gastroenterologists, but also to other medical professionals that make up your healthcare team. If your gastroenterologist does not support you and undermines your symptoms, shop around for a new gastroenterologist that makes you feel comfortable, heard and safe. Additionally, a gastroenterologist is not the only medical professional that should be on your team. If you are able, reach out to a dietician, nutritionist, or naturopath certified in food nutrition to receive guidance on diet, food choices, vitamins, and supplements to support your health. Lastly, do not be afraid to seek out help for your mental health. The stress that comes with a new diagnosis can be extremely heavy, and for some, stress can aggravate GI symptoms and flares. The best decision I made was seeing a therapist to help me through my past traumas and transition into entering society post-diagnosis while dealing with debilitating symptoms. A wide range of healthcare professionals will allow you to thrive and succeed in ways you didn't even know were possible. Here in Canada, dieticians, nutritionists, naturopaths, and therapists are not covered by OHIP. If you do have insurance, these types of professionals are usually covered. If you are not able to cover the costs for these additional healthcare professionals, reach out to your GI to see if there are any subsidized or low-cost options available to you. Also, many universities and colleges offer free or low-cost therapists and nutrition counselling. 

Find your support group 

An Inflammatory Bowel Disease diagnosis is scary and may leave you feeling as if you need to be independent through this journey as you don’t want to burden others. Putting up a wall and pretending like you are fine is something I did more times than I should have after my diagnosis. I had such a hard time being vulnerable and admitting I was not ok. With that being said, the best thing I could have done was confide in a few trusted friends and family members. Opening up to my loved ones allowed me to feel more comfortable asking for help when it was needed and having a safe space to vent. Opening up to my support system allowed me to express my fears and challenges, gave me the opportunity to have someone join me at healthcare appointments and to also receive help when I was flaring. 

If you are located in Canada, Crohn’s and Colitis Canada not only offers regional support groups where you can meet fellow peers with IBD, but they also offer a mentorship program where you have the opportunity to be mentored by someone who is experienced in navigating the hardships of IBD. Additionally, reach out to your schools accessibility centre to find out if there are any IBD groups with individuals around your age to network with. Lastly, joining Facebook or Instagram pages that connect others with IBD is a great way to speak to people who understand what you are going through.

Grief    

As a newly diagnosed young adult, the negative feelings and thoughts of living with a chronic disease for the rest of your life can be endless. Dealing with healthcare appointments and debilitating symptoms that not many other young adults experience can leave you feeling defeated and hopeless. Something important that I have learned throughout my journey is that it’s important to sit in those feelings and take the time you need to process them. Take time to grieve your old life and the life you pictured for yourself, but also remember everything positive that this diagnosis will give you. You will be stronger, resilient, and more empathetic to those around you. You will view the world in such a way that you never have before, and you will become more intuitive with your body and mind through this journey. If your feelings of grief become overwhelming, reach out to a trusted friend, family member or a mental health professional. Although my diagnosis has been challenging to say the least, I promise you there are things my diagnosis has given me that I am beyond grateful for and I wish I was reassured of when I was newly diagnosed. 

To the newly diagnosed IBD warriors, you are amazing, resilient and strong. An unpredictable and serious diagnosis such as IBD will be challenging and difficult, but you are not alone and you never will be.