mindfulness

Emotions and IBD

Emotions and IBD

There are a lot of emotions that come with the diagnosis of any chronic illness, or even any major life change. But laying on the operating table, under the haze and fading twilight of the anesthesia medication exiting my veins, I felt nothing. The echoing silence of the room was heavy all around me. I expected to feel an overflowing stream of emotions flow over me, but instead the most striking sensation of my diagnosis was emptiness. It could have been the drugs dulling my system and my perception of the world. Yet, over time, I’ve started to think that the cause of the void-like feeling around my diagnosis was something incredibly real, and not artificial. The feeling of change is oftentimes so big that it feels like nothing. 

In that hospital room, so much had changed with a simple test. The scale of the moment was beyond comprehension. My parents and I communicated without words, because anything that could have been said would have failed. All the periods, letters, and adjectives in the world would never be enough to frame that point in time. So, somehow and instead, I just knew that I had ulcerative colitis without being told. Shock, and the whole experience, was such a surreal feeling. To know that something has snapped, or broken, or ended, but to be unable to directly confront that realization is off-putting. It was easier to not speak the change aloud, because to speak it into the world would make it extra real. 

In the weeks after my diagnosis, it was as if a light switch had been switched back on. All of the fear, grief, and anger I had missed earlier suddenly now surrounded me. The trauma of illness is such a widespread and varied experience, but it can be difficult to describe and discuss. It’s isolating to feel different, and to feel like you’ve lost a piece of yourself. Health is something that most people take for granted or don’t think about. So when it’s taken away from you, its absence becomes the dominant part of your everyday life. The shift in my lifestyle to one focused on health had a significant impact on my mental health. I was in an environment, my freshman year of college, where everyone seems to be testing the limits of their independence. Thus, to feel completely dependent on my unstable day-to-day health felt unfair and tragic. 

It’s a challenge to have the energy to battle painful, and draining symptoms on a daily basis. I learned that adjusting to my illness, and all of the treatment that comes with it, was a major part of my healing journey. On top of that, I realized that acknowledging the emotions I was experiencing was an important part of accepting my illness. It’s normal and natural to be angry, to grieve, and even to be nostalgic for your life prior to diagnosis. In fact, for me, it was the first step towards opening up and connecting with others in the chronic illness community. My experiences, feelings, and my relationship towards my health has been full of highs and lows. Most of all, I’ve learned that the negative and positive emotions I’ve encountered from dealing with illness are all valid. They’ve helped me grow, learn, and evolve as an individual. Every journey is different, and that is perfectly okay.

emotions and IBD

Stress, Its Effects on IBD, and How to Handle It

By Erin Dunne

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We all have had moments where it feels like everything is happening all at once. Whether that be good or bad, it can be extremely overwhelming. With school and work, it may be projects piling up, exams, or a packed schedule. In our social lives, we may have weddings, plans with friends, and family events that happen within a short time frame. We may think of stress as a superficial, short term feeling that goes away once the chaos has subsided, but that is not always the case. The effects of stress can stay within the body for hours and sometimes days after the stressor has vanished. The intensity of the body's response depends on the individual and how they handle the stressor- either focusing on their emotions, avoiding the situation, or nourishing themselves and acknowledging the issue. It is essential to understand the different types of stress, how each variety can affect the body, and how to handle yourself when faced with such situations. Knowing what to do is not only beneficial for your overall health, but it makes you feel powerful and amazed at the control you can have over the situation!

What is stress and what does it do to the body?

Stress is the body's response to any situation that poses demands, constraints, or opportunity (Riehl, 2019). There are two main types of stress that people face: Acute and Chronic. Acute is short-term and is most common. An example would be daily occurrences such as a project deadline, or being stuck in traffic. Chronic stress is prolonged and can contribute more harm to the body if experienced too often. An example would be involvement in a toxic relationship. When the body detects a threat, the brain activates the sympathetic nervous system which stimulates a response typically known as the "fight or flight response." The sudden release of hormones, primarily adrenaline and cortisol, prepares the body to take action. When the rush of hormones is constant, this can cause a lot of wear and tear on your body. Once the alert phase is activated, the goal of the body is to return to its natural, parasympathetic state with regulated hormone levels.

When in "fight or flight" mode, the body focuses all of its energy into systems that are necessary and shuts off others that are not being used. One that becomes restrained is the digestive system. While there is no direct correlation between stress and IBD, more research has been conducted to investigate the influence of stress triggering symptoms. Ongoing stress can often go unnoticed, but it continues to impact the function of certain systems of the body. Stress is hard on the digestive system, as it affects which nutrients your intestines absorb, and how quickly food is moved. A recent study has found that IBD symptoms may increase because the sympathetic nervous system acts on the lining of the colon and may worsen current inflammation. Evidence has also led scientists to believe that stress hormones may help harmful bacteria reside in the intestines (Norton, 2010).

What causes stress?

This reaction is initiated by the presence of stressors, anything that triggers a physical response. The causes of stress differ for each individual- we all have our unique threshold and perceive situations differently. For example, if there is a presentation that requires the student to talk in front of their class, one person may not mind public speaking and are not worried about presenting, while another student may dread public speaking and feels exceptionally anxious. Of course, not all stress is bad- an example of good stress would be the feelings you may experience before an athletic event. Some common stressors include school, work, busy schedule, traveling, finances, lack of sleep, and poor diet.

How to handle stress:

Generally, there are two types of coping styles; Problem-Focused and Emotion-Focused. People who are Problem-Focused approach the issue head-on, whereas people who are Emotion-Focused tend to lean into distractions and avoid the issue. It is critical to recognize what coping style you tend to resort to naturally so you are more prepared when faced with a future problem. You are also able to understand yourself better! Regardless of your natural response to a stressful situation, it is also essential to know how to take a break amid chaos. Taking a break allows yourself to calm down and assist your body back to its normal state.

Stress reduction techniques can help you find peace and maintain perspective when consumed by pressure. It is vital to find something that appeals most to you- what works for one person may not work for another. Trying out a few different techniques can help you see what works best for you and can quickly become your go-to reaction to stressful situations. Some great things to incorporate into your stress managing tool-kit include: incorporating physical activity, talking and spending time with friends, reading, and baking. Even taking the time to focus on your breathing when you find yourself becoming overwhelmed can help manage the intensity of the stress response. Finding an activity that stimulates rest, clears your head, and makes you happy is one of the most beneficial things you can do for your overall well-being!

How I learned to calm my mind with movement:

Through the years, as I have become more aware of listening to my body and provide for its needs, I have learned the importance of handling stress better. I recognize now that when I experience significant amounts of pressure in a short amount of time, not only do I feel exhausted but I also suffer from an increase in symptoms. If I am under stress for a more extended amount of time, I have prolonged symptoms and discomfort. I have developed habits of practicing yoga, going on walks, and meditation- all things that allow me to slow down my mind and put life on pause. However, I do not only do these things when I'm stressed. They bring me such joy and contentment; I make time each day to do at least one (sometimes all) of these activities!

One of the best things about yoga is that it can be done almost anywhere. I love taking advantage of the beautiful weather and fresh air!

One of the best things about yoga is that it can be done almost anywhere. I love taking advantage of the beautiful weather and fresh air!

Typically, I start my morning with at least a ten minute meditation which helps me set my intentions for the day. While I have tried to sit in silence and meditate, my attention span is not that disciplined yet, so I use guided meditations from Headspace. If you're interested in practicing meditation, I would recommend downloading an app or finding videos on YouTube- both great resources! Another thing I do quite often is take what I like to call "Mindful Walks." I put on a podcast or playlist and take a long walk, making sure to be present and aware of my surroundings.

My favorite way to relieve stress is through my yoga practice. When I was younger, my older sister and I used to take classes together, and I have been intrigued ever since. Through the years I have leaned into my yoga practice to help quiet my mind and work on connecting my body and brain. At first, I was intimidated by the idea of flowing on my own. I thought it had to be in complete silence or to mellow music, and surrounded by aromatherapy. I soon realized that the purpose of yoga practice was to embrace my own intentions and make the most out of my time. I don't put pressure on myself to have a perfect session because I'm learning and am allowing my body to move the way it wants. Most of my sessions include aromatherapy, the twinkle lights in my dorm, and one of my favorite playlists. Even if it is only taking five minutes to flow, I notice an extreme shift in my mood after a session- I feel renewed.

 

 

In the past, I would isolate myself and push through the pressure until I would eventually crack and break down. In the moment, I may not feel like moving or pausing but I have to remind myself of how I feel afterwards and the temporary rest I am giving to my body. After I am active, I not only feel more relaxed but I feel happier and come out with a better mindset- more motivated, present focused and ready to take on the next challenge.

Stay Lovely,

Erin

Love Yourself and Love Others: How I Started Recognizing the Support Within and Around Me

By Erin Ard

In honor of the month of #Love, I decided to write about one of the most important forms. #SelfLove!

Embrace every part of you. Your quirkiness, your sense of humor, your shyness, your health (and that sometimes, you CAN take a good picture).

Embrace every part of you. Your quirkiness, your sense of humor, your shyness, your health (and that sometimes, you CAN take a good picture).


You've probably heard the phrase "You can't love anyone else until you love yourself." It's said, with good intent, to almost everyone who is trying to find self-worth in another person's eyes. I am no expert on love, so I can't say this is always true. However, I do know that dealing with chronic disease, especially throughout your teen years, can wreck your self-esteem and ability to love yourself. *Ahem* speaking from experience.

I want to share how I learned to accept the terms of my new life, let go of internalized negativity, and love myself as I am. It took me years to recover emotionally from all the changes I faced because I never fully accepted that I had a #ChronicDisease.

I started to take strides in college when I began thinking mindfully about my experiences, emotions, and actions in every situation I faced. Introspection was my first step towards acceptance and being #mindful was my strategy.

I used mindful meditation to reflect on everything in my past and present. I became aware of my thoughts, emotions, surroundings, and accepted them without judgement. It helped relieve my stress as a busy student and appreciate everything around me while living moment to moment. Before mindfulness, I would often dwell on my flaws and insecurities, to the point that I had lost sight of my worth. Now, whenever my mind wanders or spirals, I accept my thoughts, bring light to them, and move on. The simple act of being mindful restored my self-confidence and helped me find my identity outside of my chronic health issues.

A little surprise from my sweet, forever valentine.

A little surprise from my sweet, forever valentine.

As I sit, writing in my old bedroom from high school, I'm starting to reflect on all the love I had even at my lowest. I now recognize the love I lacked for myself and the support that surrounded me from family and friends. My closest friends and family understood me and how the disease affected me. Because of them, I was able to overcome many trying events.

This month, my #mantra has been to love yourself and love others. I've learned that you're never really alone, even when you think you are. There is always someone thinking about you, worrying about you, or just wondering how you are. You will be surprised by the influence you can have on others. As a cute example, take a look at what my little brother made for Valentine's Day!


Remember to appreciate your own strength and the people who continue to support you.

 

 

If you want to learn more about the influence of mindful practice, check out this article on the stages of grief in chronic disease.

With love,

Erin