Reflections on Curating the “Familial Patterns” Art Show

by Kaitlyn Niznik (New York, U.S.A.)

If you haven't already, you can watch a video tour of Kaitlyn’s “Familial Patterns: Generations of Patients” art show here! 

Acknowledgements: My warmest thanks to Shelly Philips - my co-conspirator for the show, to Deborah Reid and Tracy Hayes who run Gallery RAG, CCYAN alum Selan Lee for helping me find my message, and to all the CCYAN members and chronically ill creatives who submitted work! This was my first time curating a show and I'm so thankful I had that opportunity!

Since the start of my CCYAN fellowship, I wanted to make an art show highlighting people's shared experiences with chronic illness.  In July, I went to Gloucester with a goal and a promised gallery space – while I couldn't fully visualize the show until everything was up on the walls, and imagined so many variations of the themes, ultimately focusing the show on family connections to chronic illness made it much more personal.  

Shelly and I spent the duration of the show gallery-sitting and having conversations with visitors about the show's theme. As we reflect back on our time at Gallery RAG, Shelly and I have some final thoughts we'd like to share: 

The stigma associated with Crohn's, colitis, and other chronic conditions is something rarely seen, let alone talked about openly. Gallery RAG, which stands for Radical Acts of Generosity, was the perfect place for us to launch this exhibition and confront people's preconceived notions of illness. The show was just a drop in the bucket to spread awareness and promote acceptance. It allowed people to come together from isolated communities - even crossing oceans to create connections. One visitor reflected on her husband's chronic illness and his struggle to find motivation to get out of the house. She thought a creative outlet might help him feel seen and accepted. Others also shared stories with us, about different loved ones struggling with their health. Sometimes just showing up is half the battle, making a safe space to create, breaking the cycle of isolation, and talking about taboo topics that are usually swept under the rug. It felt good to normalize our medical issues and talk about them casually with visitors. We hope the gallery guests and livestream viewers were able to connect with the amazing variety of pieces in the show. 

Looking into the future, Shelly wants to explore how to reverse the curse of chronic illness by lessening its impact on future generations. She hopes to look into how that in itself could break family cycles of trauma. Shelly wants her future work to shed light on the mothers who never knew that they had undiagnosed autoimmune or inflammatory disease. She plans on investigating how history repeats patterns in the things handed down - after mothers have already passed down the cellular dysfunction - and exploring what immune modulation, environmental changes, and the microbiomes change such patterns. During our conversation, Shelly also talked about Alexis Gomez’s poem about seeing her mom in a different light and how much that touched her. We hope to collaborate more in the future to share the patients’ perspective and focus on how art/writing can be a healing tool.  

We loved how the poems and art in the exhibition worked together. Seeing all the different submissions from poetry, collage, zines, prints, paintings really showed there are so many expressive outlets to utilize. It felt larger than us and we are so grateful we had the opportunity to share your stories. We enjoyed the challenge of making the show accessible for everyone - whether international or on the other side of the country and we can't wait to see what our next chapters bring!

If you haven't already, you can watch the video tour of Kaitlyn’s “Familial Patterns: Generations of Patients” art show here. Below, you can also see some of the pieces submitted by CCYAN fellows and other community members! 

Beamlak Alebel’s (CCYAN Fellow, Ethiopia) poem, “A Heart That Heals,” thanked all the doctors, nurses, surgeons, family, and friends for helping her on her journey to healing. Her heartfelt gratitude shined through to readers who shared their appreciation for their own support systems.  

Aiswarya Asok’s (CCYAN Fellow, India) poem, “Mosaics.” tackled the grief and emotions attached to carrying her mother’s hidden pain. Aiswarya’s piece offered a glimmer of hope, in that through our endurance and shared suffering, we might find more answers and a better prognosis to bring about change. 

Alexis Gomez’s (CCYAN Fellow, USA) poem, “Letter to Mom,” also reflected on her relationship with her mother and how similar yet different their medical journeys are from one another. Her writing felt like a sincere attempt to grapple with mixed emotions, her mother’s guilt, and their shared perseverance in the face of IBD.  

Multiple works from artist Andreana Rosnik, including: “Recipes for a Flare,” a collage communicating the danger and inflammation that comfort foods might cost us internally, which took me back to my own fights with food. “Portrait of the Artist as a Colon,” a zine (a small art booklet) illustrating her challenges living with Ulcerative Colitis. As an artist who also draws colons, I appreciated Andreana’s refreshing take on a digestive system fraught with issues. Her “colon wyrm” and “biblically-accurate intestines” deserve a spotlight as well, and could easily be made into merch and tshirts for other folks with colon issues.     

Nancy Hart’s acrylic painting, “COW,” (top right) depicted a pink cow silhouette on a black and white backdrop to represent one of her many inherited allergies. Marnie Blair’s print, “Snakes and Rivers,” (center) echoed ideas of transformation and survival on the surface of a blue disposable medical drape. The layers of meaning and the subtle ties to both the body and environment appealed to us as we were curating the show.   

See the rest of the featured artwork from Kaitlyn and other CCYAN community members in the video tour!

The Hidden Struggle: Medication Access and Equality for IBD Patients

by Beamlak Alebel (Addis Ababa, Ethiopia)

In the foreground is a graphic of a worried-looking young girl with medium-dark skin, braids, and an orange shirt. Behind her are transparent graphics of an intestine, medications, and other people feeling sick (one holds their stomach, another holds their head). The whole graphic has a dark orange filter.

Treatment is more than a diagnosis or a prescription — it’s about whether the medicine you need is available, affordable, and within reach. For many IBD patients, that uncertainty becomes a heavy burden. It’s hard to stay strong when your survival depends on something you might not find or afford tomorrow.

For me, the struggle is deeply personal. Every month, when it’s time to get my medication, I feel both guilt and sadness. I can’t ignore the heavy burden it places on my family. Watching my parents worry about how to afford my treatment hurts more than the illness itself, especially since the medicine is rarely available in public hospitals. Even though they never complain and always care for my feelings, I can see the stress in their eyes — the quiet fear of what might happen if one day the medicine becomes too expensive or unavailable. It’s painful to live knowing that your survival is also your family’s financial struggle. I wish the medicine could at least be less expensive and easily accessible everywhere, so no one would have to choose between health and hardship.

The world has powerful medicines with great potency — but what is the use of their strength if only a few can afford them? True progress in healthcare means making effective treatments available and affordable for everyone, not just for those who can pay the high price.

Access to medication is not a privilege; it is a lifeline. Yet in many places, that lifeline is fragile. I have seen patients lose hope — not because their illness defeated them, but because the system failed them. Seeing people treated as if their lives are less valuable simply because they are sick is one of the deepest pains a person can feel. It makes you question your worth. It makes you feel invisible.

But we are not invisible. We are fighters, dreamers, and survivors. Our illnesses may have changed our bodies, but they have not taken away our strength or our right to be seen, respected, and included.

Equality should not only exist in words or promises. It must exist in action — in how policies are written, in how medications are distributed, and in how people with chronic illnesses and disabilities are treated. I know how it feels to be looked at differently, to be judged for something beyond your control. What we have is an illness, not a choice.

Even in schools and health-related fields, there are times when lecturers or professionals do not fully understand what it means to live with a chronic condition. They see our physical state but not the strength it takes to show up, to keep learning, and to keep fighting. Being judged for taking sick leave or missing class because of health reasons can make a person lose hope. For now, we keep silent — but one day, we may speak as a volcano when the time comes. Because silence does not mean weakness; it means patience, and patience has power.

I dream of a world where no one loses hope because of a lack of medicine or misunderstanding — where being different is not a reason for exclusion, and where compassion leads policy and practice. Modern research is advancing, but true progress will come when every patient, everywhere, is valued equally — when access to care and empathy become rights, not struggles.

Advocacy is how we get there. By speaking up, sharing our stories, and reminding the world that every life matters, we turn our pain into purpose. Because in the end, access to medication and equality are not just medical or social issues — they are matters of dignity, compassion, and humanity.

Everything will change one day — the policies, the systems, and the hearts of people. Until then, we keep raising our voices, believing that our struggles today can open doors for those who come after us.

Fatigue and IBD

by Aiswarya Asokan (South India)

An image of a person in bed. They are under the blankets, and have covered most of their face with a pillow. Their arm lays on top of the blanket, holding a pair of glasses.

Check out Aiswarya’s presentation slides on fatigue & IBD! She shares about the prevalence of fatigue, types of fatigue, risk factors, the impact fatigue can have on IBD patients, and some suggestions for managing fatigue.

Life with Crohn’s: A Visible Person with an Invisible Disability

by Rifa Tusnia Mona (Dhaka, Bangladesh)

Image of a vast, white sky and ground covered in small brown pebbles. A person with a backpack stands far away, staring off in the distance.

It’s already been a month since I moved to Lisbon. As an Asian girl setting foot in Europe for the first time, almost everything feels new — the culture, the streets, even the rhythm of everyday life. My university is about an hour away from my dormitory, and each morning I take the Carris — the public bus. It’s often crowded, especially during rush hour. On days when I’m carrying groceries, standing becomes a real struggle.

At the front of the Carris, there are four seats reserved for the elderly, pregnant women, parents with children, and people with disabilities. Every time I see those signs, I ask myself quietly: 

Where do I fit in?

Am I “normal”?

Am I someone with a disability?

For a blind person or someone in a wheelchair, the condition is visible — their challenges are seen and, therefore, more understood. But for someone like me, living with Crohn’s disease, the weakness is invisible. Even carrying my laptop sometimes feels like lifting a boulder. On bad days, groceries are out of the question.

A few times, I’ve taken one of those reserved seats just to rest for a moment — and on more than one occasion, an older passenger scolded me in Portuguese. I didn’t have the words, or the energy, to explain.

To make things easier, I sometimes order my groceries online. But when the delivery person arrives and I ask them to carry the bags up the stairs, I often get that same puzzled, slightly judgmental look — as if I’m just being lazy.

The truth is, many people still don’t know what Crohn’s disease is. And when you’re in a new country with a language barrier, explaining your condition to every stranger sometimes isn’t possible.

One day, I was sharing this with a senior from my university. She listened and then said something that stuck with me:

“From the outside, you just look a bit tired and thin. A lot of people are like that. How would anyone know what you’re going through?”

And she was right. There’s no visible “signature” for people with invisible illnesses like IBD. No sign that quietly says, I’m struggling, even if you can’t see it.

That “signature” matters — not just for access to certain rights or support, but also for empathy. When people can recognize what you’re dealing with, even without words, life becomes just a little more humane.

I’ve been thinking: instead of only pushing for general awareness, maybe it’s time for a more practical step — some kind of universal identifier for invisible disabilities. It could be a color band, a card, a small badge — something that lets others know that, while we may look fine, we’re fighting battles they can’t see.

Because when life is already heavy with these hidden challenges, constantly having to explain yourself shouldn’t be another weight to carry.

Thank you for reading. See you next month.

Featured photo by Kyle Miller from Pexels.

Preparing for an International Trip: Chronic Illness Edition

by Lexi Hanson (Missouri, U.S.A.)

A graphic from Lexi, entitled “Everything I Did to Prepare for my Trip to Southeast Asia (Chronically Ill Edition).” In the background is the sky with a blue to orange gradient, the sun is in the bottom right corner. A photo of Lexi (a young black woman with short curly hair, round glasses, a white tank top, and light jeans) is in the middle of the page. Around her are photos related to her tips for travel, including a glass of water, a pill container, and a bunch of grapes. Text is included below.

Everything I Did to Prepare for my Trip to Southeast Asia (Chronically Ill Edition):

• I made sure I had a plan for hydrating and receiving my water intake. Tap water in the parts of Asia I was traveling was not safe to drink. I also needed a liquid to take my medications daily. 7-11 and other nearby stores had many options and I made sure to always have a bottle with me.

• I requested vacation override with my health insurance company to ensure I had enough medications for my trip (and then some). If you’re taking medications, I’m sure you understand the daily/weekly/monthly struggle with pharmacies and/or insurance companies to fill your prescriptions, so make sure to get a head start on this one!

• I educated myself on street food safety and what I needed to do to stay healthy, while also experiencing the culture! I did not accept any fruits that were unpeeled or could be washed with tap/unclean water. I was careful about meat at street food markets, and spoke with my tour guide about how to identify whether food was sitting out for long periods of time and deemed not fresh.

• Tip: Make sure you’re familiar with the vaccines that are necessary and highly suggested in the area(s) you are traveling. Most importantly, check with your doctor about if any of your medications make it unsafe to receive a live vaccine.

The Day I Chose to Fight: Surgery, Strength, and the Power of the Mind

by Beamlak Alebel (Addis Ababa, Ethiopia)

An image of a person standing on rocks, balancing an extremely large boulder. It looks like they are trying to push the boulder up the incline. In the background is a wide open desert landscape.

There are days that change us forever — not because we are not ready, but because life gives us no choice. For me, it was the day I faced surgery.

That moment came with fear, complications, and a sense of losing control over my body and even my appearance. I wasn’t prepared — not mentally, not emotionally. Yet I had to choose: risk everything or let everything fall apart.

Before that day, I never imagined hearing the words: “You may be moved to the ICU.” No one is ready for those words. Your heart races, your mind fills with unfinished dreams, and suddenly life and death sit together in the same breath.

But when that moment came, I made my choice. I chose life. Even with all the unknowns. Even with the pain. Because sometimes the bravest step you’ll ever take is the most uncertain one.

Over time, I learned that strength isn’t about muscles or energy — it’s about mindset. When your body feels defeated,your mind becomes your strongest weapon. Deep inside me, beneath all the fear, I found a hidden strength I never knew I had.

Yes, I cried. Yes, I doubted. But I rose.

Living with IBD has stolen parts of my childhood, but it has also taught me to fight. My strength didn’t appear overnight — it grew through countless painful moments that shaped me into the woman I am today.

And here’s the truth I want others to know: we don’t need approval from anyone to define us. We know our own limits, and we know our own strength. Scars don’t make us less — they prove we survived.

If you’re standing at the edge of fear right now, please remember: you are not alone. The fear is real, but so is your courage. Even when your body is tired, even when others don’t understand — your mind can carry you further than you think.

We are not broken.

We are not our scars.

Photo from @vicky49 on Unsplash.

Mental Health & IBD Series

by the 2025 CCYAN Fellows

A graphic of the earth, with black text reading “IBD and Mental Health: Global Perspectives.”

This month, some of our fellows worked together to share perspectives on mental health and IBD. Check out their articles and videos on this topic below!

Insights from Beamlak (Ethiopia), Aiswarya (India), and Lexi (U.S.A.)

Living with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) is never just about physical symptoms. It impacts mental health, education, relationships, and self-worth. For many patients, the emotional toll can be as heavy as the physical pain. We came together to explore the connection between IBD and mental health, and each of us shares a different perspective, facts, lived experiences, and personal reflections. Together, they form one message: mental health in IBD care is not optional, it is essential. We wanted to show that IBD is both a physical and mental health journey. Data highlights the need for better systems of care, and personal stories remind us of the resilience and strength it takes to keep moving forward. Together, we call for greater awareness, compassion, and support for every person living with IBD. 

Read their perspectives:

• Facts we Can’t Ignore - Lexi

• Diagnosis is a Light, not a Lampshade - Aiswarya

• “Let it” - My Rule for Living with IBD - Beamlak

  
  
  

Insights from Akhil (India) & Alexis (U.S.A.)

Akhil & Alexis (alongside 2022 CCYAN Fellow Maalvika & CCYAN’s Program Manager Rosa) presented about the intersections of Chronic Illness, Mental Health, and Cultural Considerations at the 2025 Bridging Voices, Building Futures: Youth Innovation in Mental Health Conference (hosted by Generation Mental Health). View the presentation below:

“Silent No More: We are the Story and the Solution”

Check out more of our 2025 fellow’s articles and videos on other mental health topics:

What it’s Like Working Through Phobias - Kaitlyn Niznik

Through (on Stigma, Shame, and Talking about IBD) - Michelle Garber

God of Small Things: A Crohn’s View (on Stigma and Connection) - Rifa Tusnia Mona

IBD & Grief by Akhil Shridhar

Internalized Stigma in IBD, Mental Health, and Quality of Life by Aiswarya Asokan

Mental Health & IBD (An Infographic) by Lexi Hanson

The Facts We Can’t Ignore (Mental Health & IBD Series)

by Lexi Hanson (Missouri, U.S.A.)

A speckled grey granite countertop, with black scrabble tiles spelling out “Mental Health Matters.”

According to the American Gastroenterological Association (AGA), 35–36% of IBD patients report anxiety or depression—far above national averages. Yet, too often, providers prioritize physical health while overlooking mental health needs.  Supporting mental health is not a luxury for IBD patients—it is a necessity. 

What are some supports that can make a difference for Young Adult IBD patients?

• Embedding mental health professionals (psychologists, social workers) in IBD care teams.

• Routine mental health screening for young adults.

• Coping toolkits to build self-advocacy, communication skills, and emotional resilience.

• Extending transition support to age 25, not just 18–20.

• Availability of peer and lived-experience communities for validation and advice.

• Access to reliable information tools about nutrition, travel, accommodations, relationships, fatigue, and brain fog.

• IBD-aware university services: bathroom access, class accommodations, and counseling.

• Policy reforms to ease insurance challenges and improve navigation.

• Education on ADA rights and workplace accommodations.

• Self-compassion training to protect mental health.

Check out Lexi’s July post for more facts about Mental Health & IBD!

Photo from Unsplash.

“Let It” — My Rule for Living with IBD (Mental Health & IBD Series)

by Beamlak Alebel (Addis Ababa, Ethiopia)

Two hands reach towards one another. One is handing a black paper heart to the other outstretched hand.

Living with Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) is a journey no one truly understands unless they’ve walked it themselves. It changes your body, your mindset, your lifestyle — and even your identity. Over the years, I’ve discovered a rule that helps me rise above the noise, pressure, and pain: 

“Let It…”

It reminds me to stop fighting what I can’t change and instead make peace with it — to keep breathing, keep moving, and most of all, keep living.

Let It Be What It Is

IBD is unpredictable. One day you feel okay; the next, you’re back in the hospital.

I remember one exam day when the classroom was overcrowded. I had followed every rule—no phone, fully prepared—but when I arrived, every desk was already taken. There was no seat left for me.

It wasn’t a flare. I had come ready to write the exam, but the conditions made it impossible. I felt angry and frustrated—I had put in the effort, yet I was turned away by circumstances beyond my control. Missing that exam hurt deeply, not only academically but also emotionally. Still, I whispered to myself: “Let it. Everything has a reason.”

Let People Say What They Want

“You don’t look sick.” “Are you sure it’s that serious?” People don’t see what happens behind closed doors — the fatigue, the pain, the hospital visits. Their words used to cut me, but I’ve learned: “I don’t need to prove my pain.”

Let Yourself Say No

There are foods I can’t eat, events I can’t attend, and expectations I can’t meet. I used to feel guilty for saying no, as if I was letting people down. Now I know: “Let yourself say no. It’s not weakness — it’s wisdom.”

Let Hope In

On the hard days, hope is my medicine. Sometimes all I can say to myself is: “Tomorrow is another day.” And that’s enough. Even a tiny spark of hope can carry me through the darkest moments.

Let Go of Pressure

IBD puts pressure on every part of life — physically, emotionally, and socially. I’ve let go of the need to be perfect. If my body tells me to rest, I listen. If I miss something important because of my health, I remind myself: “My health comes first.”

Let Life Be Easier

I no longer compare my life to those who seem to “have it all together.” My peace, joy, and success may look different, and that’s okay: “Let life be gentle, even if it’s not always easy.”

Photo from Unsplash.

Diagnosis is a Light, not a Lamp Shade (Mental Health & IBD Series)

by Aiswarya Asokan (South India)

In front of a grey wall, there is a small green plant in a pot that says "grow grow grow," a table lamp with a white shade and wooden base, and a small moon-shaped nightlight atop a wooden base.

It was on May 2nd 2016, a day before my 19th birthday, for the first time in my life, I heard the word Crohn’s, from my doctor back then. It came as a scientifically valid explanation to all the so-called “sick drama” I was exhibiting through the years. But the excitement of this achievement soon faded away when I came to know that there is no cure for this. Then came the joint family decision, we will keep this diagnosis a secret to ourselves. Anyways, who is going to accept me if they know I have got a disease that makes me run to the toilet and that I have to be on regular medication to stop this from happening. For the next 4 years, I lived like a criminal, fearing for every breath this crime will be caught.  In between, I was ill informed about the dietary restrictions I was supposed to follow, and kept eating triggers from time to time, meanwhile wondering why this is happening – but was still focused on keeping the secret safe.

Still, life was a smooth sail with a few days of bad weather here and there, till 2020, when I had my worst nightmare: a serious flare that left me hospitalized for more than 2 months and unable to take my final year university exams. And my secret was out. Not being able to appear for exams was too much for an academically excellent student like me. I was experiencing such intense pain that I couldn’t even turn sides in bed. All this made me question my identity and shattered my fundamental belief system. None of the medicines were working on me. A group of surgeons visited me, and told me that if surgery was attempted, my life might be over on the table. When I realized I might die soon, I decided to live a little. Even though I was not able to eat anything, I ordered a red velvet cake and ate it. The 2020 Tokyo Olympics were going on – it was my all-time wish to watch the Olympics live, but my academic schedule did not allow me to do so. So from the hospital bed, I watched Neeraj Chopra win a gold medal for India, while all my classmates were taking final year exams.

After a while, steroids started working and I started getting better. At the age of 23, I was 33 kilograms, severely malnourished and on a high dose of medication. I was not afraid to die but coming back to normal life was a challenge. I couldn’t face people nor attend phone calls. Even notifications from messages were alarming for me. I zoned out from everyone around me. I felt myself as a complete failure. 

One person kept on calling me, despite me ignoring all their calls, until one day I finally picked up. He was my childhood bestie, who stood with me till I was able to manage things on my own. He made a timetable for me, which included slots for physical activity, exam preparations, and fun activities, and made sure I followed them on a daily basis. Then the exam date came up. There were times when I took supplementary exams alone, in a hall that usually accommodates 60 students. Everyday after the exam, he would ask me how it went, and suggest a movie to watch as a reward for the hard work. After a while, exam results came, and I had the highest score than previous years. Life was again on.

A journal entry from Saturday August 19th, 2023. Text written in blue ink reads “I can’t recollect a day without pain. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t look at the mirror. I have forgotten how I was before. I don’t know how to get out of this. Where to get help from, who can understand me.”

Whenever a flare up hits me, the first thing I notice is a keen desire for physical touch, especially a warm hug, though it sounds strange. I also clench my jaw while asleep, to an extent that my whole face and ears start to hurt the next morning, which further makes it hard to have food. Within the next 3 years, time was up again for a rollercoaster. I had a stricture, unbearable pain, my oral intake was nil, and I had to go for a hemicolectomy. The anticipated complications for the surgery were extremely frightening. This time my boyfriend came up and assured me that “no matter what, I will be there for you.” The surgery went smoothly and I was discharged. I was physically fit but started experiencing PTSD-like symptoms. I started feeling I was just a financial burden to my family.

I slept all day and night as I was not ready to face the thoughts in my head. My boyfriend used to call me every day – just for those few moments I was living, but the rest of the time I used to sleep.  This time no friends nor family could help me. Then I started searching for IBD support groups, came to know about IBD India, took the free mental health counselling, and joined the peer group. For the first time, I felt less isolated and felt a sense of belonging. And slowly I replaced my coping mechanism of sleeping with painting. Gradually I was healing, and started feeling more freedom like never before. 

Life goes on. Ups and downs are part of it. But when one door closes the other opens. When you feel stuck, ask for help and keep asking until you get one strong enough to pull you out — that is the bravest thing you can do for yourself.

Image from Unsplash.