by Kaitlyn Niznik (New York, U.S.A.)
Four drawings of different comfort tactics (described below) on a light purple background.
I can't remember a time when I didn't have a blood/needle/medical phobia. I would regularly faint at the doctor's office and even talking about blood was enough to make me pass out in high school. It wasn't a problem until I developed chronic stomach issues and was diagnosed with microscopic colitis. All of the sudden, I was pushed headfirst into a world of doctors' appointments and countless medical tests. It's hard enough to find answers from doctors, but fear can make you ignore your problems, making things worse. I still struggle with this phobia today, but with the help of a therapist, I’m working through my issues. Please seek the help of a trained professional to face your phobias in the safest way possible. Here are several strategies I'm using to make progress facing my fears.
A drawing of a dark purple “Encyclopaedia Anatomica” on a light purple background.
Desensitization Training/ Exposure Therapy
Desensitization and exposure therapy can start with looking at images of videos of your phobia, eventually progressing to more realistic scenarios. For instance, someone with a blood phobia might progress from viewing images to medical shows and eventually going to blood drives. The overall goal might be to get bloodwork done, but you have to build up exposure over time to get more comfortable with your fears.
I've been unknowingly trying to do this my whole life. As a kid, I would reread veterinary books to expose myself to a little literary medical gore. I would deem it a success if I didn't get woozy. Today, medical imagery has become an inherent part of my artistic practice. I find exposure more palatable if I attempt to explore images and procedures from a place of curiosity rather than fear. If I'm looking at veins, I try to ask myself what colors I see under the skin. I've progressed to the point where I can look at surgical photos of arteries and attempt to draw them without getting queasy. It's easier for me to separate myself from a picture than a procedure happening to me, so that's where my exposure therapy has started.
Working with a therapist, I did a deep dive on my phobias and my hierarchy of fears. Instead of just seeing all situations surrounding blood or needles as being equally terrifying, I was able to sort them into a list of situations with varying intensity. While younger me thought a finger prick was the worst situation possible, I now list it much lower on my list, opting to put IVs in a higher position. It's all a matter of perspective. By making a fear hierarchy, I was able to tackle lower intensity situations and gain confidence and resilience before braving my top fears.
A drawing of two different chairs (one upright, and one reclining) on a light purple background. The upright chair has a red circle and line through it, indicating “no,” while the reclining chair has a yellow circle and check mark, indicating “yes.”
Keeping A Sense Of Control
When I was little, my family had to trick me to get me in the doctor's office. In adulthood, I tried to mimic this strategy by being spontaneous. Instead of scheduling a flu shot and worrying about it for weeks in advance, I'd wake up and decide to go that morning. This strategy somewhat lessened my stress, but it also felt too hurried. I never had a sense of control, just urgency to get it done and over with. It didn't leave me in a good headspace and I still found myself fretting over the possibility of getting a shot for weeks ahead of time.
Now, I'm better prepared. With the help of my therapist and journaling, I've made lists of what is within my control during doctors’ appointments. I keep a “comfort bag" ready and always bring it with me to appointments. If I need blood work, I pack my own snacks for afterwards and plan to reward myself with a sweet treat from a nearby cafe. I also pick out my "victim” arm ahead of time based on which arm feels stronger than day.
When it's my turn for bloodwork, I tell my nurse right away that I'm terrified and I'm a faint-risk. I also ask for the reclining chair when possible. It's not so upright that I'll get dizzy and slump over, but through experience, I've also found that fully lying down feels more vulnerable and heightens my fear. A reclining chair puts me in a better headspace, so it is important that I advocate for my preferences. Doing small things consistently and giving yourself small choices in your healthcare can help you feel more in control and you'll know exactly what to expect.
A drawing of a tote bag and it’s contents on a light purple background. The bag is labeled “My Comfort Bag,” and next to it are a pair of headphones, a pack of tissues, a granola bar, essential oils, a worry stone, phone, and a tennis ball.
Pack A Comfort Bag, Activate Your Senses
In an effort to ground myself, I try to pack things in my bag that activate my 5 senses of sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. I always have these items in a bag and ready to go. Consistency is key, so I bring them with me to all of my medical appointments. When I’m in the waiting room, I grab my headphones and put on some music. I also pack sensory items that are calming like fidget toys to distract myself with. If I’m getting blood drawn, I have a tennis ball handy that I can grip, tissues for when I cry, and a snack for when it’s all over. This kit can be any size and it should be personal to you. Here’s a list of what I keep in my bag:
Snacks
Water
Tissues
Tennis ball (to grip)
Lavender essential oil
Hand warmer
Electrolytes packet
Fidget toy or comfort object (worry stone)
Headphones for calming music or ASMR
An image of a ‘box breathing’ exercise on a light purple background. Arrows guide you around the sides of the square, which are labeled: "exhale, hold, inhale, hold.”
Don't Just Wing It, Strategize
Plan out your day ahead of time. Plan to have downtime afterwards to chill, recover, and reward yourself. I like to have a friend or family member drive me to and from appointments just in case I feel dizzy afterwards.
Pressure therapies or tense & release exercises have also been proven to help calm the body. Box breathing is another exercise to keep in your toolkit. It can stop you from hyperventilating and keep you calm. Make sure to try these techniques out BEFORE an appointment or exposure to your phobia. Practice makes perfect and not every therapy works for every person. Find what fits you and make a plan to tackle your phobias.