Growing up is a process that we will all inevitably go through. We tend to live our lives with a sense that we are immortal. We learn to walk, we fall, we get up, we continue. Yes, life is pretty good. You learn a lot, you see new things, you spend a lot, you enjoy it. It is something that everyone does - living their life. It looks pretty simple until we start growing up.
In adolescence we begin to feel "older.” We go to school, we work for the coming of our adulthood. I looked like an ordinary teenager, I felt like an ordinary teenager - I thought everything was fine.
It was not exactly like that inside me. The reality was a little different. I was always the petite one of the class and I got sick often. The first symptoms of Crohn's disease began, which soon brought the psoriasis, then arthritis, and, recently, adrenal insufficiency.
New and full of life as I was, I was already setting goals for the future and dreaming. Yes, I was sure I would become an artist, I had decided.
Apart from some minor health issues, such as abdominal discomfort and lack of appetite, there was nothing wrong with me. That is, as far as I knew. I did not live in them, I was new. I was full of ambition!
I was about 15 years old when I began to realize that I should not take my health for granted.
I was at home relaxing listening to music when I suddenly collapsed in pain. I could not stand up.
A little later I was in the emergency room of a provincial hospital. Examinations, medications, but it seemed something temporary - it was not, as it turned out later. I was young, nothing could hurt me - or so I thought.
Then, I got some gastroenteritis (!) and it took me over a month to "recover" - obviously, since it was not gastroenteritis. Suddenly I started to get sick quite often. It had become difficult for me to live like an ordinary teenager, yet I was trying to go to school, the conservatory, and the orchestra.
I did not care much then, though. I was probably used to it. That was what I knew. I think my attitude started to change about a year later, when the visits to doctors and hospitals had increased significantly and I started to have more problems.
It was hard for me, as I suddenly had to struggle with things I had never imagined. I could no longer do what normal teens did.
As time went on, the "mysterious" disease then dissolved me more and more.
And life was moving on. I had to make brave decisions - it was not easy at the age I was then - as my health was deteriorating. I had to stop several things I liked or adjust them to the rhythms my body could handle.
I didn't do many things anymore. The only thing that kept me going was the music; it was becoming an increasingly important part of my life. I went to concerts very often because it was one of the few things I could do during that time. This made me face some of the difficulties I was going through.
After several years passed, I was then diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, psoriasis and arthritis. With the treatment I was receiving I was in remission and I had started to do everything. I was in university, I went on many trips, I went out and had fun, I went to concerts , I played in concerts. I no longer had almost any restrictions.
Until I began to feel very tired, nauseous, have a lack of appetite, and dealt with some other symptoms. I spent months looking for what had "broken" and why I felt that way. My examinations did not show any exacerbation of my known diseases. And then the day came when my rheumatologist told me to visit an endocrinologist and get tested for adrenal insufficiency, as the symptoms I mentioned made her believe that this diagnosis was very likely.
I could not make it to visit an endocrinologist because it was in the first wave of the pandemic, when everything was frozen around us, until I ended up in the hospital. A little later we had the results of my exams. My cortisol was very low, marginally detectable. My rheumatologist was right.
I was -again- newly diagnosed with something I knew absolutely nothing about and with a prescription for drugs I had never taken before.
In the following weeks I made the mental and physical adjustments to live with this new diagnosis that had just been added to my list of diagnoses.