Farewell 2025 — A Journey of Self-Discovery, Resilience, and Growth
by Rifa Tusnia Mona (Dhaka, Bangladesh)
A photo of Rifa (a young Bangladeshi woman, wearing a black sweatshirt and blue pants), standing in front of the gate to her university in Lisbon, Portugal. In the background is a large white building with many windows, and a large blue sculpture reading “@technico.”
I can’t believe 2026 is already here! There are so many things that feel surreal to me actually. After having crohn’s, I was bedridden for a long time. While looking at the white plastered roof upside, I knew I was stuck in my life. I didn’t have a terminal illness which meant I wasn’t dying! But, with frequent flare-ups, cramps, weight-loss, and hospitalization reminded me that normal life wasn’t possible either. At some point, I felt blank inside. I remember when someone would ask what I am planning to do with my future, I would say, close your eyes and you will see! They would say it’s pitch black when I close my eyes! Then I would hilariously say, Correct! That’s my future! And that would’ve been true until I decided to finally get up and go all-out. I often say to my mom, ‘Ammu, even if there was an ounce less pain, I wouldn’t have gotten where I am now!’ I felt graceful to god as the pains were coming from all directions and at some point they became the reason for my living.
In the past few months, I boarded a plane six times, traveled to India twice from Bangladesh, and moved to a different continent! To Europe, in Lisbon, far away from the comfort zone of my room, my bed!
I have very small veins, and my body does not absorb oral medications effectively, which made the intravenous treatment particularly challenging. There were days when cannulation was urgently required, yet despite repeated attempts throughout the day, the nurses were unable to locate a suitable vein. By the end of those days, my hands were so exhausted and numb that I could barely feel them anymore.
By this time, the hospital feels like a second home! I got married to Crohn’s and the hospital became my in-laws! Funny, right!
Despite everything, I remain grateful. I am currently at the closing stage of my first semester of my Master’s program in Lisbon, and as part of the mobility track of the Erasmus Mundus Joint Master’s program, I will be moving to the Netherlands in February. The travel plan is almost ready and I am confident that I can do it.
Living with Crohn’s disease has reshaped my sense of fear. When survival itself becomes the central challenge, traditional definitions of success begin to fade. That is what happened to me. Compared to where I once stood, I am no longer simply enduring life; I am moving forward with purpose. That, above all, is what matters to me.
I’ll keep this brief, as I’m currently admitted to H.S.A. Capuchos Hospital, Lisbon, due to a recent flare-up. I’m not sure if my words will inspire, but if even one person feels a little encouraged after reading my story, it will mean the world to me. I am deeply grateful to CCYAN for giving me a platform to share my story, my voice, and my true feelings. I hope the new year brings a fresh start for everyone, filled with love and happiness. Thank you for reading!
Featured photo: A photo of me in front of the university gate taken by my beautiful friend, Hiba Hamada.
